


Too Much

by CrashStack



Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [13]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: ADHD Overload, Angst, Angst and Feels, Freddy has ADHD, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Rainb0we's AU, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrashStack/pseuds/CrashStack
Summary: Freddy has a panicked overload.
Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1526105
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Too Much

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainb0we](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainb0we/gifts).



> Haha, guess who's venting about their ADHD with poor Freddy again because I'm a depressed spastic failure?
> 
> This is how I am and feel during an attack caused by an overload. I've been having them nearly constantly lately and finally used a speck of reprieve to write this because why not?
> 
> B0we gave me permission to write and post this, he's given me too much power in hurting his characters.

Too much.

His limbs felt like they were buzzing with electricity no matter how much he flailed or threw them around. His head felt like sparking static while words spun like a twister beneath it. His fingers kept wiggling and gripping at the air. He would wear himself out for one minute, wires cramping and head swaying, but then another burst would have him crying out and flailing again. It kept coming, he couldn’t keep up and he couldn’t handle it. Everything ached. It didn’t stop, it wasn’t stopping.

Stop stopstopstopstopstop itit stopit stop it stop pleasestopstopitplease please stop-

Kids yelling and running had stopped but they were still there. Camera flashes were gone but still hurting his eyes. Tipping chairs and falling cups were caught but still falling. Everything was still there, embedded into his fur and skin and wires and it was all just too much. Too much, just too much too much too much toomuchtoomuch-

His hands were shaking. He flipped them back and forth so much his wrists hurt, his fingers felt like they were going to fly off, but it only tired him out for a few minutes. The exhaustion would flood him for a few minutes, leaving him panting and groaning and swaying, but then another burst of energy would have him shaking like a livewire.

“Freddy?”

Too much noise, too much light, too much thinking so much thinking bad thinking bad miss daddy miss mama missthemmissthem gonna be replaced replacedbecause Henry said he said so gonna be replaced-

“Freddy?”

Bonnie. Bonnie was here. Bonnie was here and it would be okay because Bonnie was here. Bonnie always knew what to do, that shouldn’t be right because he’s supposed to be the big brother and Bonnie’s the little brother he’s such a bad big brother can’t even be a big brother-

The wood of the stage creaked beside him. “What’s going on, cubby? Are you having a fit?”

Toomuchtoomuch toomuch too much Bonnie BonnieBonnieBonnieBon it’s too much-

“I know, it’s a lot. Do you think you can handle a hug or a pat? Do you want any touch?”

No touch, no touch, no touch, notouchnotouchtouchdonttouchmedontnonono-

“Okay, okay, I won’t touch you. Where’s your cube?”

Cube. His cube wasn’t here, it wasn’t in his hands. He needed his cube, he needed it. Where was it, wherewherewherewherewaswherewas where it was where was it-

“Hey, it’s alright, cubby, don’t cry.” There was a touch of panic in Bonnie’s voice now. “I’ll find your cube, okay?”

His cheeks felt wet. Cube cube cube, he needed his cube, he wanted it, he needed it need it need it needitneeditneeditneedneedneedneededitititneed-

“Found it.” It was a soft chime. Color popped into his vision; the purple fur on Bonnie seemed so bright, the dull and faded colors of his cube stung his eyes. “Here you go, cubby.”

It was cold and hard in his hands. His fingers found the grooves he had rubbed into it over the years, the dents from dropping it and the scratches from his claws. The click it gave whenever he twisted a side was comforting. It was different from the other noise. He was making it, he could control it, it sounded nice; helped.

“Just focus on your cube, okay?”

Bonnie’s presence next to him was comforting.

I’ll be better I promise promiseI’llbe better I will I’m sorrysorrysorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-

“Shh, it’s okay, cubby. Don’t try to talk, alright? Just focus on breathing.”

No, he had to tell Bonnie. He _had_ to tell Bonnie what was happening, what he wanted and needed to say. He couldn’t just _not_ tell Bonnie, the rabbit would think about it all wrong. The words were there, he knew what he wanted to say but they just weren’t coming _out_. His jaw felt loose, his mouth didn’t want to move, his brain was saying words but he just couldn’t get them out.

“Freddy? Cubby, it’s okay. Don’t strain yourself.”

I’m sorry sorry imsorryimsorryimsorry I don’t mean it don’t mean to be like this it’s too much it’s toomuch please I’m sorry-

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, cubby.”

His throat was making clicking and squeaking sounds. He just wanted to talk, he _needed_ to talk. Talktalktalktalk tellhim tell say it say it sayittalksaytalk-

The small fingers rapped against the floorboards. It snapped his attention into a spiraling disarray. “How’s your cube?” Bonnie asked. His voice was light and soft. The spiral slowed. “Is it helping?”

“Y-y-yeah.” His jaw was sore. Had he been clenching it? “Yeah, ‘s h-he-elping.”

“That’s good. Just focus on your cube, okay? You’re doing good.”

Good, he’s doing good. He’s doing good, he’s good. Good goodgoodgoodgood not gonna be replaced not gonna be erased goodgood good-

The yellow that sailed into his vision was so bright. It hurt his eyes enough to make him clench them shut and whine.

“It’s okay, cubby. It’s just Chica.”

“Bonnie, what’s…?”

Chica. Chica, Chica, ChicaChicaChicaChica-

“Quiet time.”

Quiet time. Quiet time was good, it was a comforting quiet because there were always sounds at just the right volume and not crashing around him. It was a good quiet because he wasn’t being ignored, they promised they weren’t doing that but he always got scared because what if they were really just putting up with him and-?

“Easy, cubby,” Bonnie said. He was gently tapping on the stage to catch the swayed attention. “You’re okay. It’s quiet time, nothing’s going to spook you.”

Red. There was dark red. Dark red and pale yellow and blue like his eyes. Foxy FoxyFoxyFoxy. Hihihihihi, Foxy. Hi hihihiFoxyFoxyhi hi-

A small wave from Foxy. It was hard to tell, but he saw a smile on the pirate’s face. “Hey, cubby.” The gruff voice was soft and low. “Ye ‘avin’ a fit, eh?”

He smiled. His cheeks were hurting, they felt sore from his clenching jaw. Foxy said hi, he said hi, hesaidhisaidhi he carescares hihihiFoxyhihi-

“Just too much today,” Bonnie said to Foxy. He could tell it was to Foxy because Bonnie was looking at the fox from the corner of his eye, not at him. They were talking but it wasn’t loud or making him shake. “He needs quiet time for a few hours.”

“Can you grab his blanket?” Chica’s beak was moving. It was working fluidly, too smoothly. It had him shuddering.

Foxy said something, he could hear the rough accent so he was positive Foxy said something, and turned away. His chest tightened further. Foxy was leaving, he was leavingleaving leaving not coming back notgoodenough sorryImsorry-

Gentle knocking against the wood. It made his ears hurt. “He’s coming back, cubby, it’s okay. We’re all right here. Just twist your cube.”

The clicking sounded nice. His wrists felt sore when a burst of energy had him twisting the sides back and forth.

“Don’t cry, cubby.” Chica was suddenly there in front of him. She was smiling gently, the pale purple eyes warm. “He’s coming back. We’re all right here, no one’s leaving.”

No one was leaving. He didn’t want them to leave, he didn’t want to be alone dontwannabealonedontleaveme alone it was scary to be alone. What if they didn’t want him anymore didntwanthim he wasn’t good enoughenough too loud too loud loudloudloudloud-

A blanket was gently tossed around him. The movement had him doing something that warranted a quiet apology from both Bonnie and Foxy. “‘ere ye go, cubby.”

It was carefully tucked around his shoulders. It was warm and heavy. There was red in his vision, really close and in his face. Foxy was back, he was back, Foxy’s back he’s backbackbackhiFoxyhi Foxy hi-

The shiny fangs grinned at him crookedly. Foxy’s face was slightly pinched, but still loving. “Hey, cubby. Ye alrigh’?”

“Y-yea-ah.” It was hard to talk. “Y-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-”

“Tha’s good. Jus’ relax, alrigh’? Do ye wanna pet me fur?”

Petpetpetpetpet furfur pet Foxy’s fur? Soft, Foxy’s fur was soft and red soft and redredsoftredredsoftsoftsoftred-

“Yeah?”

“Yea-a-a-ah.” He wanted to. He could handle it.

The stage creaked when Foxy climbed up. Soft fur brushed against his leg, made him shudder at the feel. His hands were suddenly in the maroon fur, sparks running up his fingers and wrists at the feel. The fur climbed over his fingers and hands, hiding patches of brown. His hands were really big, big not little anymorenotlittle Henry made them big made them growmadethemgrow-

Foxy let out a quiet groan with a small grin. “Ye’re goin’ ta make me leg star’ kickin’.”

“S-s-so-o-or-r-rry-y.” Carefulcarefulcareful, no pulling or tugging…

“Ah, not’in’ ta be sorry fer.” The hulking fox rolled closer towards him. “‘ave yer fun, cubby.”

It was nice. Foxy was purring softly, the vibrations running up through the thick fur and through his hands. Bonnie and Chica stayed next to him, talking quietly and asking questions that he knew were easy but felt so hard right now. His cube was sitting in his lap, the blanket was a comforting weight on his shoulders, the low murmurs were slowly swirling around his ears. The static in his head started to quiet. His limbs still felt full of lightning but they didn’t spark him into flailing like he had before.

“Freddy?” He looked over at Bonnie. The petite rabbit was smiling warmly at him. “You with us, cubby?”

He was talking. He thought he was. He felt his jaw moving, his throat constricting with each word that tumbled out of his mouth. Was he talking? Were they hearing him? Did he have to say it again? What did he say? Should he say it again?

“Yeah, you sound a lot better.” Chica’s voice floated from beside him. His ears flicked with the sound. “You’re doing good.”

He wanted held. The sudden need was crushing. He heard himself gasp; it scratched at his ears, his throat hurt. He wanted Chica, he missed Chica, he wanted Chica to hold him, he wanted held-

A set of wide, feathery arms wrapped around him. He slumped in the embrace against the wide chest; a sharp chin settled on his head. “I’m right here, cubby,” Chica whispered. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

She smelled like cookies and cake. He was hungry, he didn’t notice that before. When did he last eat? Couldn’t remember can’t remember can’t-

“I’ll make you something to eat,” Chica said. Her wing was petting his shoulder. It felt so soft. “We can eat together on the stage tonight. How does that sound?”

Eating together likeafamilyfamily they were going to eat together like a family daddydaddydaddymissyou he missed daddy and mamamama missed her-

“Aww, cubby.” Bonnie was frowning, idly petting a limp ear. “Don’t cry, it’s okay. We’ll eat together, okay?”

Chica was dabbing at his face with her other hand. It was hard to see, his face was wet. She was saying something, but he couldn’t really understand. He was hearing it, hearing what she was saying, but it just wasn’t _sticking_.

“Unclen’ yer jaw, cubby,” Foxy gently reminded. His tail was swaying slowly.

Right, he was doing that. When did he do that again? He couldn’t remember. His jaw ached.

“We’ll eat when you calm down.” Chica was still petting his shoulder. She felt warm. Her jacket was cupping him, soft but the zipper poked at his clothes but soft. “We’ll have some desert after that, too. You wanna help make it with me?”

He wanted to help, wantedwantedtobe wanted to be helpful.

“Okay, you can help.”

“Th-th-th-th-tha-a-a…”

A pointed kiss to his head. “No problem, cubby. I always appreciate the extra hands.”

“‘m s-s-s-s-s-sor-r-rry-y-y-y…”

“Nothing to be sorry for, okay?”

Sorry, so much to be sorry for. He was sorry, so sorrysorrysorrysosososorry-

“No sorry’s, cubby,” Bonnie told him.

“Bu-u-u-u-u-t ‘m-m-m- I-I-I-I’m-m-” Brokenbrokenbrokenbrokenbrokenfix fix me fix fixneed needfixed need fixed brokenbroken broken broken broken-

“Our favorite bear in the world?” Bonnie asked smoothly, cheerfully. The rabbit was smiling, whiskers twitching. “We know that.”

His eyes stung; felt hot. It was hard to see. His cheeks were warm.

The blanket was pulled around him more securely. Chica dabbed at his face again. “We love you, cubby,” she said softly. Her chest rumbled lightly with her voice.

He kept crying, he couldn’t help it. His cheeks hurt from smiling. He was shaking. “L-l-l-l-l-o-o-o-ov-ve-e-e y-y-y-y-y-y…”

“Love ye too,” Foxy finished for him. The fox shined a toothy grin. “Love ye too.”

Love you too, love you too, lovetooloveyouyoulovetoolovelove love you too so much love you love so muchlovelovelove not a burdenamnottheylove they love me-

Chica pecked his temple. “Just try and rest, okay?”

“I-I-I-I…”

“We can all sleep together if you want,” Bonnie suggested. His hands were settled on his thighs, ears slumped against the ground. “You wanna cuddle pile?”

His breath hitched.

Foxy nuzzled his knee. “I coul’ go fer a nap,” he murmured.

Chica was rubbing her cheek against his head. “How about we take a nap together?”

“Bu-u-u-u-t… W-w-w-w-wa-a-a-an-nna…” Talk.

The hulking chicken hummed. “We can wait a bit,” she told him. “Just pet Foxy, okay?”

He kept petting Foxy. He felt exhausted but he wanted to keep talking, wanted to keep telling them how much he loved them because he loved them so much and he was so happy and…

He drifted.

**Author's Note:**

> Does someone relate to this? Maybe, but here's me through my ADHD buddy.


End file.
